24th Most Favorite Thing About the State Fair of Texas: New Year, New Food
The State Fair of Texas is such a magical place that EVEN THOUGH it houses enough varied marvels of deep-fried ingenuity and other culinary creations so resplendently mobile that they can be enjoyed while walking down a sidewalk in 90-degree heat, ever-more-creative strides are made each year in Fair Gastronomy. Yes, dear reader, the intrepid souls tending the deep fryers are envelope-pushers, and that is why, during the first days of September, Dallas dwellers’ stomachs begin to collectively growl. For we all know what’s coming — a tantalizing description (in the form of a State Fair Press Release) of the new food making its debut on the Midway (and in my stomach) this year.
New food requires careful attention by the fairgoer. One must do some good pre-planning to make sure that all the old, reliable favorites will have ample stomach space before going crazy with a new food choice. Just think how unhappy I would have been a couple of years ago if I’d filled up on ultimately disappointing new food (Fried Coke, case in point) and had no room left for the good stuff.
Which is why it is SO helpful for the Fair to pre-warn us about the new offerings, and give us ample time to plan our attack. I also find it commendable that they not only name but also FULLY DESCRIBE each new dish, so you can gauge your “gut” reaction, if you will, in advance. By way of example, let’s just quickly fly through this year’s list, as described in the press release:
Deep Fried Butter – 100% pure butter is whipped till light and fluffy, then specially sweetened with a choice of several flavors. The tantalizing mixture is surrounded by a special dough and quick fried. Served on a stick.
Erm. Uh…huh. We’re frying… butter…now? Two things: this is by far the most insane offering on the list and therefore, should have been placed ALL THE WAY AT THE BOTTOM of the press release, simply because I think it would have been easier for us to imagine this being good if we could have at least built up to it. But starting off with “Deep Fried Butter,” just like that? I feel like someone punched me in the gut. Wow. Second (and I’ll go ahead and admit that I’m going to taste this thing, just for the freak factor alone), I get the whole “the Fair food is unhealthy so we might as well just embrace it” thing. I do. I’m a big proponent. Chicken Fried Bacon last year? I was ALL OVER IT. But the thought of people walking around at the Fair, chewing a big hunk of fried butter off of a stick? I…just… don’t know. Obviously, some serious consideration is required here. Good thing I’ve got 24 more days. Ok, let’s continue…
Twisted Yam on a Stick – A delicious, towering, spiral-cut sweet potato on a 13” skewer is fried to a delicate crispy texture, then gently rolled in butter and dusted with cinnamon and sugar.
Oh, mama. Yes, please. And thank you for calling it a YAM, which is a much more fun name than “Sweet Potato.”
Fernie’s Deep Fried Peaches & Cream – Sweet juicy peaches are coated in a delicious batter of cinnamon, ginger, coconut, graham cracker crumbs, eggs & milk, then deep fried to a crunchy golden brown on the outside, while luscious and sweet on the inside. Served on a plate drizzled with raspberry sauce and sprinkled with streusel topping & a dollop of whipped cream. A side of vanilla butter cream icing is provided for dipping.
OMG! READ THE LAST SENTENCE AGAIN! BUTTER. CREAM. ICING! Sweet Fancy Moses. I realize I suggested restraint when considering new food items at the Fair, but I’m literally twitching right now. And thinking about which of my old favorites may have to be shifted to make room for possibly two helpings of this thing, assuming it is as advertised. Can your mouth water so much that you dehydrate and die?
Texas Fried Pecan Pie – A mini-pecan pie is battered and deep fried to a golden brown. Served drizzled with rich caramel sauce, then topped with whipping cream and chopped candied pecans.
Meh. I’d be thrilled if this turns out well. Alas, my experiences with fried pies at the fair have not been stellar up to this point, so I’ll reserve judgment.
Country Fried Pork Chips – Thin sliced pork loin is seasoned, surrounded by a tasty corn meal batter and deep fried. Served with sides of ketchup or cream gravy.
This I will have to see and taste. Could be good, if the pork isn’t dry and shriveled up, but the image I’m getting here is fried, dry, shriveled pork. That does NOT sound good.
Sweet Jalapeno Corn Dog Shrimp – Shrimp on a stick is coated with a sweet and spicy corn meal batter, then deep fried to a golden brown and served with a spicy glaze.
Jury’s out on this as well. I will quote the Top Chef judges and say “I feel like there may be too much going on in this dish.”
Fried Peanut Butter Cup Macaroon – A peanut butter cup is wrapped inside a coconut macaroon fried and dusted with powdered sugar. Also available with a scoop of Blue Bell ice cream.
Three words: Why. The. Macaroon??? A fried PB cup with Blue Bell (which, BTW, should be a compulsory addition to ALL State Fair fried desserts, in my opinion) sounds dee-licious! Why jam a macaroon in there and gum up the works? I wonder if I could ask the fry-guy at that booth to throw my macaroon away? And give me extra Blue Bell for my Fried Snickers, Fried Twinkie, Fried S’more, and Fried Oreo??
24 Days, people. Start your planning.
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